My first week as Delia:

I’ve tried to be Delia in all my interactions and in every movement throughout the day.  Delia is new to town.  She doesn’t know anyone, where anything is or how to get around.  As Delia, I find an unfamiliar city and many new faces.   I get to see my city and my corner of the world with fresh eyes… and I realize my life is not easy for someone else to step into. 

Delia is used to having a car, TV, stereo, blackberry, playstation, ipod, etc.  For her, it’s been a challenge just to get around.  The roads are bumpy, the drivers are inattentive, there’s lots of construction, and Delia is not used to carrying so many things, all while riding a bike.  As Delia, I’m becoming convinced that I need a car.

I live in a great place in a bad neighborhood.  Delia has never lived in a marginal neighborhood.  And in her city in Michigan, even the bad parts of town manage to look cute and well maintained when compared with here.  She is bothered by all the weeds and broken or nonexistent sidewalks.

Although the car situation is Delia’s prime concern right now, for me, the difficult part is all the interactions with people I know.  When I answer the phone and they ask for Jane, I ask what they are calling about, and then depending on who it is, I either introduce myself as Delia and say that Jane will be away for a while and I will be taking her calls or, when I have to, I say, ”Yes, this is Jane.”  I’ve tried to stay in character as much as possible, but there have been times when I had to identify myself, like with the dentist.  Official interactions require me to use my real name.  But I try to speak with Delia’s tone and manner in every interaction. 

The hardest part is running into friends and colleagues who don’t know about the project.  When they wave or say, “Hey, Jane.”  I reply, “Hi I’m Delia, actually.”  Then I put out my hand.   Some people appear shocked, some start laughing and others just give me a little look, like, “Oh great, another Jane project…”  I have realized that I’m not just doing my own performance, but asking a whole community of people to play along with me.  They are also performing and collaborating on this project.  They are indulging me.  I hope this is fun for them, not tedious.

And, of course, I miss my friends, which seems silly because they are right here.  I can drop by or call anytime.  But I don’t want to just pretend to be Delia when it’s convenient, I want to really be Delia for this project, and Delia doesn’t know anyone here…

There are some things I love about Delia.  She is slower, sweeter and softer than me.  It’s nice being Delia.  As Delia, I move with more grace and lassitude.  I find these movements soothing.  It’s as if I have all the time in the world to get where I’m going, and, remarkably, I haven’t been late for anything.  I don’t need to worry and obsess about the hundred and one things on my to do list.  Instead, I feel a certainty that everything will get done.  As Delia, I feel a quiet confidence that contrasts nicely with my own loud, assertiveness.

Here are some minor changes I’ve made:  Delia is a bit messy and feels a little guilty when she walks into the bathroom and there’s clothing, shoes, and makeup all over the place.  Delia drinks caffeinated coffee, not tea or decaf.  Delia likes to sleep in.  Instead of jumping out of bed at five am, she goes back to sleep until at least nine.  Delia listens to commercial radio and changes the channel when the news comes on.  Delia is not vegan, but a vegetarian who occasionally eats fish.  Delia waits until someone speaks to her first.  She is very polite and thoughtful.

I like Delia and I think I will learn a lot by walking around my life in her pretty shoes.